“Psalm 139 and the Whole Person”
I’ve shared before that one of my favorite emails each week is a devotion written by a friend from college and a colleague of mine, Heather. Heather serves as a hospital chaplain in North Carolina. Heather’s message, part of a message she shared in a memorial service, is a beautiful reminder about the complexity of people and that we should never assume we know everything about someone. This message has blessed me each time I read it, and I hope it will bless you as well.
Blessings, Chris
In 2012, a movie came out called “Wreck-It Ralph.” It’s an animated comedy, one of those kids’ movies that also has a lot for the adults who watch it with the kids. If we were in person, I’d ask for a show of hands to ask who’s seen it. Wreck-It Ralph is part of an arcade video game which has 8-bit graphics, a throwback to 1980s video games with cameos by Sonic the Hedgehog and Pacman and Q*Bert. Ralph is the bad guy in his game, though, and he’s tired of being the bad guy.
The good guy is Fix-It Felix, Jr, which is the name of the game, and when he fixes things, he gets freshly baked pies and a medal at the end of the game, whereas Ralph gets thrown off the roof into a mud pit. Ralph doesn’t mind that, though, because it’s part of the game. What he minds is that even when the arcade is closed and there’s no game going, the other characters in his game still ostracize him and treat him as the bad guy. They can’t see him as anything else. When they throw a party for the 30th anniversary of their game, they don’t even invite Ralph. Fix-It Felix is the hero, even though Felix would have nothing to fix if Ralph didn’t wreck things in the first place. The storyline of the movie is how Ralph learns to be more than just a bad guy, and how the other characters of his game learn that there’s more to him than just wrecking things.
I served as a pastor before becoming a chaplain, and I once officiated at a memorial service for a member of the community who was not a church member. His family was honest about who he was and that he wasn’t a great guy in some ways; he was an alcoholic. Yet his family also stressed to me how generous and giving he was, that when someone asked him for something, he’d give it to them, right down to the shirt off his back. They told me a story about one time when he literally gave away the coat he was wearing. This individual wasn’t perfect, he didn’t have it all together; and he was super generous. Viewing this person that way, using the word “and,” he didn’t have it all together and he was incredibly giving, is a way to see him as a whole person. The alcoholism was not the whole story on his life. The generosity was not the whole story on his life. They were both two parts of it; the good and the bad. And we, and our loved ones, all have that in each of us. We all have things we do well, we all have parts that we get right. And we all have parts that we struggle with. We have strengths and we have growing edges, and all of that together makes up who we are.
You see, who we are in our worst moments is not all of who we are. Who we are in our best moments is not all of who we are, either. Any snapshot of you, or of your loved one, is not going to tell the whole story, and that’s important to remember. Any title or role we have is not the whole story. We are more than the sum of all of these parts. We are not only a teacher or a parent or a caregiver or a driver or a Veteran. Our psalm this afternoon said that, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You were intricately woven together in the depths of the earth. And you are known better than you know yourself.” You can’t just look at one part of a life and say that’s who that person is, that’s what defines them. There’s more to each of us than that.
One of the nicknames for the era we live in now is the Age of Anxiety, that we are so caught up and anxious about looking perfect, acting perfect, showing only the perfect sides of ourselves on social media. We set the bar way up here, and guess what? We all fall short. It is unattainable because that is never the whole picture. The holiday card with everyone smiling doesn’t tell the whole story of all the shots when not everyone was smiling, when not everyone was looking at the camera, what it cost each person just to get to the photo shoot. One time I got a holiday card from a friend that showed that she and her husband had just given up on trying to get the perfect picture. They have three children and one child was posed and smiling. A second child was fidgeting with her hands and the third child, the youngest, had a bare foot stepping towards the edge of the frame. It was the most realistic photo card I’ve ever received. Yet I’m sure it cost my friend some anxiety to not send out the “perfect” family picture. On that flip side, when we’re anxious over not having everything together, when we feel in the pit of despair, that’s not the whole picture, either.
In an essay about the anxiety of perfectionism, the author wrote, “We’re tempted to believe there is no cause for hope. We’re tempted to believe that at stake in every relationship is the possibility of finding our soulmate. We’re tempted to believe that the dissolution of [every] relationship means cruel rejection of our identity rather than deliverance from a potentially unhealthy connection. The clock ticks, and we name each tick a curse rather than thanking God for the gift of time. We fail to see the world the way it really is.”
The author continues, “Beloved child, set your eyes on the truth about the world and determine to live in that world, and not in the false world in which despair is possible. That’s not the real world. None of the stories we tell ourselves in our despair are truthful descriptions of the world. The truth about the world is that you do not have to become because you already are. God has already declared you worthy. You don’t need to achieve that. You simply need to embrace it. Luxuriate in it. And allow yourself the time and space to learn what it means to live as one already declared precious by God.”
To be declared precious is not to be declared fragile and easily breakable, although it may feel that way sometimes. Rather this is a precious that means you are valuable, you are worthy, you are enough. Cherishing ourselves and our loved ones, treating each of us as precious and valuable, gives us strength and builds our resilience more than anxiety or being hard on ourselves or anyone else does. The poem (We Remember Them by Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer) that we read says, “When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them. When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.” Treating ourselves and our loved ones as precious and cherished and worthy of love gives us strength to get through.
In geology, stones are rated on what is called the Mohs scale, a number 1 through 10 to determine their degree of scratch resistance. These stones include precious stones, and some gems, like opals and turquoise, are soft stones that scratch and chip easily. Other precious jewels are hard stones, the hardest of which is a diamond. Diamonds are pieces of carbon that crystallize when they were exposed to external pressure and heat. There is no need to add internal pressure. Grief is often complex and complicated as you sort through your memories, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Cherish yourself and your loved one. You, and they, are worthy of love and cherishing.
We are not perfect, we all have a lot of external pressure going on, and we’re not going to grieve perfectly. We’re not going to respond to each loss in our lives the same way. To say so is to lie. Yet to give up hope and despair is also a lie. We are not who we may think we are at our worst moments. There’s more to us than that. Thinking of our loved ones as they were the last time we talked with them, the last time we saw them does not tell the whole story about them, either. They are more than that last conversation. They are more than that last hospital stay or how the treatment altered their mood. They are a whole person, strengths, growing edges, warts, and all. Let’s remember them that way and honor them and cherish them that way.
Mission
To make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.
Vision
Nelson Memorial UMC seeks to be a place where all God’s broken, hurting, and imperfect children discover wholeness and community while experiencing the warm and welcoming love of Jesus Christ. We seek to connect with one another to grow in our knowledge and love of God, to encourage each person to live out their unique calling to serve God, and to make a difference in the Boonville community and throughout the world.
Priorities
Developing and Nurturing Faith in Children and Youth
Fostering Growth and Community in Worship and Small Groups
Provide Opportunities to Serve God in Boonville and Beyond
Worship This Week
This Sunday we will continue our message series “Minor Prophets, Major Impact,” looking at lessons from some of the Minor Prophets. This week we will focus on the Prophet Joel. Our scripture reading will be from Joel, Chapter 2, verses 12-17.
“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart with fasting and weeping and mourning.”
Rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.
Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing – grain offerings and drink offerings for the Lord your God.
Blow the trumpet in Zion, declare a holy fast, call a sacred assembly. Gather the people, consecrate the assembly; bring together the elders, gather the children, those nursing at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room and the bride her chamber.
Let the priests, who minister before the Lord, week between the portico and the altar. Let them say, “Spare your people, Lord. No not make your inheritance an object of scorn, a byword among the nations. Why should they say among the peoples, “Where is their God?”
Our services this week will begin with Never, by Tasha Layton as our Gathering Song. The choir will sing Siyahamba as a prelude in the 10:20 service. Our Opening Hymn will be Joyful, Blessed Assurance, followed by Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), and Spirit Song
Virtual Worship Information
In addition to in-person worship, our service will be live-streamed. The service can be viewed on our Facebook Page. The service will start at approximately 10:25 am following our Gathering Song. Additionally, we post a recording of our messages to our website by early Sunday afternoon.
Announcements
General Conference Conversations – We will hold 2 opportunities to discuss the recent United Methodist General Conference. These will be held Monday, May 20 @ 7:00 pm or Wednesday, May 22 @ 10:30 am in the Sanctuary. We will open with a recap of the major changes approved and what the impact will be on the local church. We will then open it up for a time to ask any questions you have about these decisions. Everyone is welcome!
Church Closed – Thursday, May 23 & Friday, May 24 – The church will be closed May 23rd and 24th for electrical work. The power to be shut off to the building all day May 23rd and maybe in to May 24th. All events, meetings, and activities scheduled for those days are canceled.
Red Cross Blood Drive – We will host our next blood drive Monday, June 3rd from 2:00 pm – 6:00 pm in our Fellowship Hall. To schedule a time for donating blood go to: redcrossblood.org/give.html/find-drive. The need is always great and your donation is always appreciated!
Sagrada Bible Camp – Camp Sagrada has reached out to us requesting our help with transportation of campers. We are looking for help on the following dates: June 10 and 14 (Boys), June 17 and 21 (Girls), June 24 and 28 (Boys), July 8 and 12 (Girls), July 15 and 19 (Boys), and July 22 and 26 (Girls). Each day we will need a team of 2 adults, one of which can drive the Sagrada van, the other to assist. You can volunteer for one day, or one week. There will be a sign-up sheet in the east narthex. If you have any question, please contact Tim VonEngeln at (660) 882-3348.
Liturgists Wanted – Are you interested in serving in worship as a liturgist? We are always looking for more help in this ministry. Please speak with Pastor Chris if you are interested or would like more information.
Youth News – The youth have two meetings coming up on Saturday, May 18 @ 10:00 am, and Thursday, May 23 @ 6:00 pm. Both of these will take place at the Jackson’s home. If you would like more information about youth activities, please contact Brian or Chelsea Jackson.
Save the Date: Vacation Bible School has been scheduled for July 1-3 this year, again running from 9:00 am – 11:30 am each day. Our VBS is titled “Start the Party: Celebrating the Good News of Jesus” is going to be a great time. Please help us get the word out to all the kids in your life. Also, plan on joining us for a “Pre-Party” Sunday, June 30 at 5:00 pm for a cookout and a lot of fun.
Simple Suppers – Only 2 Simple Suppers remain. Please know, if you haven’t come yet, there is still room for you. Join us Wednesday evenings, beginning at 5:30, for a time of food, fellowship, and fun. Following the meal small group growth opportunities are being offered. Everyone is welcome to participate. Please speak with Cindy Koch if you have any questions.
Giving Through Venmo – We can be found on Venmo at @NelsonMemorialUMC. If you don’t know what Venmo is and would like to learn more, information about giving through Venmo can be found on our webpage at https://nelsonmemorialumc.org/give/venmo/
Events this week:
Saturday, May 18: Youth Group, 10:00 am, Jackson’s Home
Sunday, May 19: Congratulations BHS Graduates
Monday, May 20: TOPS, 9:15 am, Lounge
General Conference Conversation, 7:00 pm, Sanctuary
Al-Anon Meeting, 8:00 pm, Fellowship Hall
Tuesday, May 21: Administrative Board, 6:00 pm, Fellowship Hall
Wednesday, May 22: General Conference Conversation, 10:30 am, Sanctuary
Al-Anon, Noon, Fellowship Hall
Simple Suppers, 5:30 pm, Fellowship Hall
Thursday, May 23: Church Closed for Electrical Work
Youth Group, 6:00 pm, Jackson’s Home
Friday, May 24: Church Closed for Electrical Work
Closing Words of Wisdom:
The power of choosing good and evil is within the reach of all.” – Origen